Ocular aqua gems
trickling alone
in darkness
where no sounds
leak in
harsh moans
muffled in damp down

That’s not my role
that’s not why lovers
seek me out
across vast distances
at their own peril

not for tears
not for confusion
not for tales of loss

The silence
seeps inside
poetry disappearing
letters mute
stories dammed up

not a loss of interest
not the death of passion
not succumbing to boredom

Hiding like a leper
no one comes to me
for destitute emotion

“They always return,”
I laugh
licking my wounds
but in truth
it is never I who take flight
they spread their wings
leaving me watching the sky
hoping for another song
my heart fluttering
like the breast
of a captive sparrow

Now I lose two
in the same breathe of time
because I became
a real person
no masks
no performance art
no worlds built of fairy dust

How can one love
what is not real?
I am not
inside
fantasy
dreams
myths

Honored
to have my heart
changed
grown
and broken
by you

The ocean I swim
is a subscription
to the pain of loss
to questions unanswered
but I can breathe no other air

No longer do I need
the nights
to feel alone.